There is considerable evidence that different children are born with quite different temperaments. Parents can't order what they want. They take what they get. But parents have well-formed personalities, too, which they cannot change over night. One gentle couple might be ideally suited to raise a girl with a sweet compliant nature able to give her the freedom she needs in order to develop into an independent capable person. They may not be nearly so ready for an energetic, assertive boy. They may find him uncomfortable, battling, and challenging not matter how much they love him. Another couple may handle a spunky son they call Butch with ease and joy but be quite disappointed with a quite one. parents do the best they know how the kind of child they receive.
